I am shameless...

I'm sure you've heard the old addage, "Hollywood is shameless." You may ask yourself "what is the origin of such a phrase?" Surprisingly enough, it's not because Hollywood is a God-less void of un-Christian values where amoral heathans go to share their dangerous, libel and progressive ideas! Someone gave Hollywood that label because in encapsulates the manner in which they promote their art; shamelessly. The Paris Hilton sex tape, the Spider-man logos on bases in Major League Baseball stadiums, and Shrek advocating exercise to kids while his face is slapped on dozens of sugary confections are all prominent examples of how shameless Hollywood can be when it comes to promotion.
Therefore, if I am ever to become part of Hollywood, I must become shameless in my promotion as well. Now, you may ask yourself "Greg, you have a college education. Why on Earth would you ever want to become part of Hollywood?" The answer is simple. I require two things that I can never get enough of in my lifetime; attention and money. And Hollywood is able to provide me with a hundred lifetimes of fame and fortune (or so I hope.)
So, without too much further ado, I submit to you a few short films I have made using "The Movies" game produced by Lionhead Studios. In your unlimited inquiries, you must be asking "Greg, you fool, why would you need such a game to make movies?" The answer is simple. This game rocks, and reality sucks. In this game, I can control every aspect of my art. In reality, it is hard as my erert dick to make a movie (which is very hard, I assure you.) Of course, making movies using this game isn't like having sex with a drunk fat girl, but it's easier than trying to score with Alizée, which is what it's like trying a make a film in real life.
Our first film is a dark exploration of the human condition. It's a mystery with more twists and turns than the Autobon. It will elevate the craft of filmmaking to a level you've never seen! It's...

"CASE CLOSED"


Now, if you consider "Cased Closed" original, you've obviously never heard of "The Usual Suspects." And if you haven't, I envy your ignorance.
Next is a hilarious romp where one man must choose between his hectic life and home, and his more interesting one out on the town. It's...

"ISLAND IN THE SUN"


After seeing it, my brother pined that it was "just one big cross-dressing joke", to which I responded, "Right. You're absolutely right."
And finally, we have a fusion of genres that has never been explored to such an offensive degree. Yes, the kung fu/blaxploitation movie has never been touched by Hollywood, until now. If you hate racial slurs, excessive violence, explicit sex, and foul language, you haven't seen anything yet. It's...

"N**** POW!"


I'm sure I could get away with the previous film if I had something to say about racism, violence, or language. Unfortunatly, I don't.
So there you have it. Three prime examples of why I'll never set foot within ten miles of Hollywood. But I'll be damned if I'm not going to try.